How Did I Fall In Love With You?
by Serlene
Summary: Hermione looks upon all the people in her life, and sees that one person she could never live without.


I can still remember that day when you entered my life. That day when I first saw you. I never knew what you later on then would become, someone so important that I couldn't let you go. I didn't really like you, you were just to mean, or at least that's how it seemed. But, the time went by, and we grew to become friends.  
Always forever, you'd never leave my side. So much time has passed, and yet, I'm still to learn how to let go.

Remember when, we never needed each other  
The best of friends like sister and brother  
We understood we'd never be alone  
Those days are gone, now I want you so much  
The night is long and I need your touch

Through out our first year, we still had to learn how to be civil towards another. But, at least, there was always Harry. He would always be there. Remember the Philosophers stone? You scared me half to death when you gave in, and you let them take you, just so that we could go on. You didn't seem to think that you were that important that you had to come along. But that was never true. I just, -I didn't know what to do... It was always the same. You'd give in, to let us pass. You always seemed to think that you were less than the rest. Just for the fact that Harry was who he is, because you said to me that without me, none of you would have made it through these years. You always thought less of yourself. Like you didn't matter for anyone, well, that's not true. You mattered to all of us; you mattered... -To me.

Don't know what to say  
Never meant to feel this way  
Don't wanna be alone tonight  
What can I do to make you mine?

Remember our forth year at Hogwarts? And the Yule Ball? You didn't seem to think of me as a girl that you could consider yourself going to the Ball with until the very last minute. How you ran around asking everyone that you said were pretty. And then to become so stupid that you asked Fleur to the Ball, to then run away and be so sure that you'd made a fool of yourself in front of the whole school. You didn't think of me then, and... It hurt me. So, when I got asked to the ball, I accepted and made a promise to myself that I'd make sure you regretted not inviting me. Or, at least see that I really was a girl, not just a friend that could help you with the answers to you homework... And then, afterwards... All the harsh words that were thrown, but, you know Ron... I don't regret them. If you wanted to go with me, you should have asked me sooner. Didn't you know, the tears were for you, and you alone?

Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?

I don't really know when it happened, or even _why _it happened, it just did... What did you do to me? Why _did_ you do it to me? It hurt me you know... All the things you said, all the things you said because you were hurt... It hurt me more than you'll ever know, 'cause I won't tell you. Not now, not when I for the first time in months se a glint of hope, love, and warmth in your eyes. For the first time in months, you live... Could I ask you one question right now, I'd ask, How? How did you make me love you?

I hear your voice and I start to tremble  
Brings back the child that I resemble  
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends  
Don't wanna be alone tonight

You're in this very room, so near, and yet, so far away. You stand there, talking to Harry in a low voice, sometimes sneaking glances around you to make sure nobody knows what you're talking about. It happens all the time now Ron. Why do you shut me out? It's always the same thing, whenever I'm around you'd break the conversation you are having, and start concentrating on you're homework, and you don't even like homework Ron! If you don't want me around, so say so! I've seen the looks that I'm not supposed to see. The looks that keep telling me I'm not welcome there. Not anywhere. And yet, I stay. Your voice brings back memories, memories for a somewhat happy childhood, when the three of us were inseparable, and you'd tell me everything. But now, I can't pretend that we can still be friends, not when all of these things are happening to me. When you're all shutting me out. I just don't want to be alone tonight.

Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?

This time, I don't have all the answers, this time; I'm the one that's left behind. I can already see you leave. I can see all of you leave, and yet, you're the one that hurts me the most. Didn't you know, without you, I'm left outside in the cold, standing all alone looking in at all the happy faces that once made me so happy too se, but now only puts a heavy burden on my heart? You don't want me around, and I guess that's why I won't. I just want you to know one thing before I leave. It's you Ron, it's you, and it always has been.

Ohwwwwo, I wanna say this right,  
And it has to be tonight  
Just need you to know  
I don't wanna live this lie  
I don't wanna say goodbye  
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

I want to tell you, but what should I say? Is it really fair to tell you how I feel, without caring about your feelings? It has to bee said tonight, and... I just want you to know; -these lies are ripping me to pieces. I have to tell you; even if that means that I'll be leaving. I don't want to leave, but this is all too much, I can't deal with you sweet questions on how I feel, am I okay? You're all too sweet to me, and yet you shut me out. Sometimes I think you're sweet to me just because you want to, other times, I know that you're not. You always seem to check with someone if you should approach me, and when you do, you light this fire in my chest, and I have to use all my strength not to let it shine through me. Not to let you know. Not to let you know, you're the one I want in my life. The only one I could ever see myself with.

Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?

I can't do this anymore. I get up to leave the room, to leave it all, but then you turn around from where you stand talking to Harry, and you smile towards me. It feels like I'm going to melt before you're very eyes, but then I remind myself, it's all for just a short while. The air is cold when I get out, and it's not until I reach the road that will take me to town that I realise, my cloak is still with you all. I shrug and keep on walking. Hoping that I soon will reach a place from where I can apparate away from here. Being there with you was all too painful. The times together were great, but knowing that you'd always see me as a really good friend, and nothing more, having to see you get together with someone, and eventually starting a family of your own, a family with someone other than me is more than I can take. The road isn't really that long, but right now, in the cold, and all these memories hanging heavily on my shoulders, the road seems to last for years. When somebody calls my name I don't respond. The snow starts to fall, and soon it comes down hart and fast. I just keep on walking; knowing that almost nothing can make me come back.

"Hermione!" I still don't respond, hoping that the person following will think that I found some way to apparate closer to the Burrow. Suddenly, somebody grabs me by the shoulders and swiftly turn me around. I keep my head down and don't look up; I don't want to know who's standing there. But the person in front of me seems to disagree.

"Hermione..." The person says in a much softer tone, and puts a hand under my chin and forces me too lift my head. I hastily close my eyes, so they won't see my tears.

"Hermione... Look at me. Look at me ´Mione... It's me, -Ron..." Just hearing his voice makes me look up, against my will, and find myself standing right to his chest and he then takes a good look at me. "You're soaking wet! What were you thinking, going out without your cloak, **_and_** without telling anyone?! Don't you see that we were worried about you?" He starts to shake me, and then, without warning he hugs me tight to him, and doesn't let me go. Not that I would want to, his arms are around me, holding _me_ for once, and it feels great, but soon I push him away and look down again, snow falling and landing in my hair. I won't let him see me like this; he can't know that anything is wrong.

"Here. Take my cloak; I'm taking you back to the Burrow." I flinched and he looked at me, apparently surprised.

"Hermione? Is something wrong?" I couldn't take it anymore, I started to cry. He looked at me, with both surprise, and something else that I couldn't identify. He seemed to hesitate, but then made up his mind and he didn't really care what I thought or felt. He grabbed me, and held me so close that I almost couldn't breathe. I thought I heard him mumble "I'm sorry Harry, but I have to tell her..." Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine, and he was kissing me! Out in a snowstorm none the less, but still! We broke the kiss after a while, and surprised he looked into my eyes, letting them tell me everything he just couldn't say right now. I gave him a smile, and as he took my hand, leading me back to the burrow, I felt the first tears of happiness shining in my eyes. How come I never knew you felt just the same way that I did… How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do to make you mine?  
Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
Everything's changed, we never knew...  
How did I fall in love with you?


End file.
